85-year-old Japanese mom’s 5 rules for a long, happy life: ‘Complaining only leads to more complaints’

In Japan, there is a popular concept called “ikigai,” which translates to your reason for getting out of bed each morning.

Ever since my mom was diagnosed with cancer in 2018, her ikigai has been to preserve her health and wake up feeling a little happier and more grateful than the day before.

As a nutritionist, I’ve always been inspired by my mom’s intentional diet and positive outlook on life. Today, at 85 years old, she’s a cancer survivor.

Here are her five rules for a long, happy life filled with joy and purpose:

When my mom was going through her cancer treatment, she emphasized traditional Japanese foods in her diet. This meant plenty of inflammation-fighting and immune system-boosting options in her kitchen:

• Goji berries and cinnamon as sweeteners
• Seaweed, ginger, kudzu and green teas like matcha
• Seafood high in omega-3 like salmon and mackerel
• Miso (fermented soybeans), nukazuke (vegetables in fermented in rice bran) and umeboshi (Japanese pickled plum)

She eliminated most processed and packaged foods, including meats and animal fats, oily and fried foods, sugary snacks, dairy and alcohol.

She still maintains this mindful diet today.

My mom always says, “Complaining only leads to more complaints, but gratitude and laughter lead to happiness.”

Studies show the benefits of laughter therapy during cancer treatments, such as improving mental health and immune function.

Even something as simple as watching a comedy show or reading a funny cartoon lifted my mom’s spirits and helped her get through tough times.

During her rehabilitation period, being a contributing member of her community was crucial to my mom’s healing process.

She’s always been the independent type who likes doing things on her own. But as she’s gotten older, she has learned the importance of asking for help, even if it’s something as simple as slicing a watermelon.

The smallest interactions can be the foundation of an enduring connection.

This can be anything from going to the grocery store to attending worship services to going to a concert with friends and family.

This year, my mom is most excited about visiting from her grandson after he graduates in December.

When you have something to look forward to or work towards, then you have an ikigai and purpose to keep you happy and motivated each day.

My mom takes a lot of comfort and joy in her spiritual life and traditions. Her day starts with lighting incense and chanting Buddhist scripture.

Three times a month, she goes to her local Shinto shrine for a ritual worship that has been maintained by the temple for over 1,300 years.

She prays for her family’s health and safety, sees the priests, and has lunch with friends and members of the community. This relationship with something that’s larger than herself is incredibly healing, and she never takes it for granted.

Michiko Tomioka, MBA, RDN is a certified nutritionist and longevity expert. Born and raised Nara, Japan, her approach focuses on a plant-based diet. She has worked in nutritional roles at substance recovery centers, charter schools and food banks. Follow her on Instagram @michian_rd.

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